Small Steps

These last couple of weeks I have been working hard in physical therapy, attending my appointments and taking all my meds. I even went and got all my shots! With all of this work and meds I am seeing progress and it feels so good. Each day I accomplish small little things that I have not been able to do for a long time. It is encouraging for me and the boys. When I do something that I couldn't do like reaching across the table or to the back of the car there is always a exclaim of praise from them. These little things really keep me going. Especially on those days when I find myself passed out on the couch from exhaustion after a physical therapy session.
Just today I was reunited with my Sunday afternoon routine by being able to READ a couple chapters from my book.
My eyes grow tired fast but it's a small step up.

Also today.....
I didn't have to apply my make up on the way to church, giving more time for my swelling eyes to go down. I had my make up on before we left the house.
I was able to put my arm around Jason in church
Read and actually taught a lesson not sick.
Ate a cupcake because it actually looked good to me.
Brought Sunday brunch back! I am hungry and excited about food again. Today I fantasized all through church what I was going to be making for brunch. This familiar habit of thinking of my next meal to get me through has been missed.


The small things really add up to progress!

Dinoland U.S.A

This week I had a eye doctors appointment to a specialist that was in Maitland so we had a bit of a drive. Jason took the day off work so he could drive me and we took Jack out of school. Jack has really been into dinosaurs and space lately.

We have been to the library and loaded up on all types of books. We also found some awesome dinosaur fact cards that Jack and I have had fun reviewing. We decided to do a little family field trip after my appointment and headed to Animal Kingdom for a couple of hours. 

The main reason for our visit was to explore Dinoland U.S.A. within the park.

It has been a while since we had been to Animal Kingdom. I thought Dinoland was so fun. Maybe because I could actually apply what we had been learning and I knew some of the dinosaurs. I really loved the fun feel of the place too. I like to take in the details that Disney puts into their areas.

Love it Corn-Ivores, Ha!

Jack running away from the dinosaur.

Life has been busy with church callings, doctor appointments, school, soccer practice and games lately and it was nice to slow down for a day and just be together.  My favorite moment of the day was right when I woke up. Not only was Jason there, but Jack as well.

I can't remember a the last time we all got up at the same time. 

It was so wonderful.

Easter Festivities

While Cami and the kids were here we had a little Easter celebration.

 We dyed eggs and marveled at the beautiful colors.

Wearing a bunny mask to cover up my bruised and swollen eyes. It came in handy.

The kids marbleized eggs! They turned out so cool.

We sat outside and let the kids go crazy. Along with hard boiled the eggs the kids also decorated plastic ones with spring shaped stickers.

The rest of the day the kids hid their plastic eggs over and over again.

Happy Birthday Mom

Today we celebrate the birth of my mama!
She is probably going to kill me but I wanted to post this picture because I love it.

I love this picture for several reasons.
I am close to the age now as my mom in this picture.
I like to picture her life as a young mom, her days filled with teaching us all the things to help us grow and develop. Daily I find myself thinking of her and about how we were raised. We were always involved in activities. Holidays and birthday's were so wonderful because she always made them so special. She made dinner every night so we could all eat together around the table. It was my favorite time of the day. Not only because I loved food but because the house seemed so warm and cozy. I feel close to her when I am in the kitchen making dinner for my family. My mom is such a gifted story teller and to this day when I read books from my childhood I can hear her voice. I have gleaned my love of stories from her. I know my sisters have too. Even the grandchildren love books especially recommended or read by Nana. My mom is so wonderful with her students and puts so much effort into her work just like she did when we were little. One day I was at her school and someone commented to me how they just loved Ms. Mary and how she was so wonderful. To which I responded "yes I know, I grew up with her." My mother is such a devoted wife. Each night she would prepare for the arrival of my dad by making sure the house was straightened up and welcoming for him. Something I do and always think of mom. Mom is always so willing to help, nurture and take care of us. When you are sick or in need she will always come. So many lives have been touched because of this woman and there are so many things to celebrate on this the day of her birth.
I love you mama and I am so glad you were born!
Happy Birthday!

Archers

I am finally feeling better.
Over the last week I have gone from taking two medications daily up to ten and one more coming tomorrow.  Jason and I watched a movie Sunday night, something that I haven't been able to do for a while. The light from the tv screen hurt my eyes too much. Last night I tried out a new recipe something else that I have not done for a long time. I am so appreciative of these little things it truly brings tears to my eyes (or in my case makes them water which is as good as I can get these days). Thank goodness for modern medicine, answered prayers and the healing powers of the human body.
Since I can see the computer screen I can post pictures of the happiness I got to experience amidst the sickness these last weeks.

The Archers came to visit us! 

They came late on a Thursday night. It was on last couple of days of Jack's Spring break so we could sleep in the next day. I couldn't sleep knowing they were only a short drive away so I hopped in the car to meet them when they arrived to check in. I was so happy to see their faces and it melted my heart to hear the sweet "Aunt Whitty" from Gracie's mouth.

 Friday Jack and I meet up with TJ, Cami, Grace and Cooper to swim at their awesome hotel pool. It had slides. several pools and a lazy river. We had a great afternoon being together again. Cami and I remarked several times how much we love to watch the kids play. It is the greatest thing.

Mr. Cooper has grown so much since the last time we were with him in September. I loved just being around him and watching him. He reminds me so much of Jack at that age but he his also his own little man, a little man who knows what he wants!

Grace is such a little mother and so much like her mother. Jack got hurt and sweet Gracie came to his recuse with comforting words and love. There have been so many times where I have been on the receiving end of this treatment and it really does take away the sadness. It must be her superpower!

 

That night we had a pizza party at the house.

While we got things ready the kids played in the back yard. 

Jack was excited to show the car to his cousins.

I sure love that car!

It has really gotten it's use and I couldn't be happier, it took a lot of convincing to get it. Santa sure was reluctant.

My Season

I have been sick it seems for the last month straight. I believe I did have a couple of good days but they were short lived.. At one point I could not see, hear or talk. I had lost my voice from a constant sinus issue and my eyes and ears had an infection. On a daily basis I deal with problems with graft vs. host where my donor cells are attacking my body, a common thing with any transplant. A little GVH is good because it is what keeps the cancer away but when it gets out of control it causes many issues. Over the last couple of years I have dealt and tolerated these discomforts that seemed to change daily. There is almost a game that I play each morning, trying to identify within the first moments after waking up what issue I will be dealing with that day. Our daily schedule in the past has not been conducive to getting the treatment and attention that I needed. However life has calmed down enough where it is finally my season. A time where we can concentrate our efforts into making life a little easier for me. I  I say "our" efforts because Jason has been my greatest advocate. He has scheduled numerous doctors appointments ( I have to see almost every kind of doctor) and got the ball rolling for treatment of my Graft vs. Host disease known as GVHD. We even traveled to Moffitt on Monday to get a second opinion on a course of treatment. I have started physical therapy in hopes that I will get full range of motion back in my arms and have been started on new meds that will aide with my eye and stomach issues. There are advanced treatments on the horizon and I have a long road ahead of me but this is all for the good. I am hopeful for the relief and improvement of life. Not only my life but the life of my family. It gets old always being the sick one.  I carry guilt for the limitations I impart on Jack and Jason because of it.

However along with the daily discomforts, I have daily reminders of the blessings that have come. There are always those tender mercies that occur that help me realize and put things into perspective. One example happened a couple of weeks ago. It was one of those really sick days and I just could not face the day. I felt horrible and to top it all off my eyes were irritated and I could not even see. There was no way I could get Jack ready and take him to school. I stumbled into the kitchen and got down a box of cereal for Jack to eat and gave him a drink turned on a movie and headed back to bed. I think that poor child even ate his cereal straight out of the box. The rest of the day continued on like this. I laid in the guest room so I could be close to the tv room and the kitchen. Jack would come in when he needed something he couldn't reach or to ask me a question. I felt like a horrible mother but too miserable to change anything. Just when I was in the middle of my pity party Jack came in and laid an envelope on my bed. It had his name on the front and the back flap was taped down by painters tape. He said it was for me. I opened the envelope and unfolded the paper, on it was drawn a huge heart. Jack had made me a love note.

My heart was touched. It was such a gentle reminder that I was loved and watched after. Later to add to the sweetness that child came in to my room, told me he was tired and that he was going to take a nap. He then turned went into his room, closed the door and tucked himself into his bed. I was shocked! Jack always refused even a suggestion of a nap. I cried, cried some more and then issued a prayer of gratitude for the sweetness of that child.

I have recognized this pattern in my life. There are bad experiences and pain but there always comes a great blessing of joy and comfort to combat. I am excited and nervous to start this path of new treatment. It is one that is scary for me. I am forced to return to a life of endless doctors appointments and tests. I have to keep telling myself that this is to help things continue to get better. I am just grateful to know that I am loved and watched after and that I can do these hard things.

In honor of Easter I am sharing one of my favorite messages of hope. It is so fitting on this Good Friday and I forever hold onto the promise that Sunday will come.