And.....it's clean!

Today's pet scan result was clean! Out of close to a dozen scan result appointments I  have been to I hit my second one where there was nothing, not even an area to watch! I am free to go on confidently living cancer free for another six months. As a transplant patient it is these appointments that mean the most. Within the course of one day what is said in that room when the Doctor pulls up your charts to give the results can totally change you life. Which means the preceding days are fill with anxiety, fear and preparation in case there is something found and my life changes for the worse. But when the news that comes is good. Well those aches and pains I swore just the night before was something really bad that they were going to have to operate on, suddenly just feel like a sore muscle. I feel like I can go ahead and make those plans for the summer or dream about what I am going to do when Jason is finally out of school and Jack is in it. It all seems so dramatic and I hate that my mind goes to such dark places until those four words "your scan is clean" are said. But that is what happens and it will continue to happen. So for now I feel light and happy and feel like singing (and I have been too...to Jason, Jack a friend at our church meeting tonight...where thankfully my mother whisked me away from. Thanks Mom. The combination of my anxiety medicine and the good news got me a little carried away.) The petty things for now are at bay...they will come rushing back soon enough because it is life and I am human and a woman. However for now I just like to know that it I have the right to just breathe, to plan and live and be HAPPY all because I heard  four of the loveliest words today.