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| Me and Jackson after our big performance at church |
Today we had our Primary program. I love the
Primary program and it is something I have been looking forward too especially since Jack turned three and moved up from the nursery to a sunbeam and able to be in Primary. However the last month whenever I thought of the Primary program I got knots in my stomach and had some sleepless nights. The reason for all of this? I was called to be the Primary pianist one month ago. With only four practices with the kids before the big program. It has been a while since I played the piano and I have never played accompanying anyone. The last piano performance I did in church was not good. After struggling over and over with the first line of the piece I was playing I stopped announced to the congregation that I was too nervous to play and took that long walk down the aisle back to my seat. It was my most embarrassing moment of my life. So when the Bishop issued the calling I got that numb feeling of fear flow through my body. Needless to say I accepted the calling but asked to be set apart right away so that I could have that spirit with me as I practiced and got ready for it. Oh my it has been a grueling month. I practiced and practiced fear being my greatest motivator. There were several times where I thought that there was no way that I could be ready. I prayed my little heart out, my family prayed their hearts out and today...well today it went off wonderfully (meaning I was able to get through and play all the songs). I did my part and the Lord filled in the rest (and I know it was a lot). After I got done with that last song of the program I had this wash of gratitude flow over me. I truly felt the spirit what this month should be all about, the spirit of Thanksgiving.
I am thankful for not only for my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but for the programs within the church. The powerful program that the Primary is. It builds such confidence and spiritual foundation of each child. Where else do you find 3 year olds up to 11 year olds fearless when speaking.and singing in front of many people. I am thankful for the primary music what power and spirituality it can bring. For the power of the
Priesthood and the blessings and assistance that we receive to carry out those callings. Today's Primary program experience was like one I have never had. I was so deeply touched and so very thankful for the Church and what it teaches us and our children.
This talk was a great motivator that helped me with that feeling of hopelessness and fear when thinking about this personally challenging call.
